A male model is being mercilessly mocked by thousands of people after claiming that living in Britain is a ‘blessing’ because activated charcoal is being sold at Pret A Manger.
Alexander Beer was made the butt of hundreds of jokes on Twitter after his “pretentious wellness schedule” was shared, including a vigorous regime of exercise, coconut water and “activated charcoal between meetings”.
The successful male model and photographer, was sharing his routine with The Times along with two others in their wellness feature – and Twitter supplied a slue of comebacks.
Twitter user Sarah highlighted the article, writing: “There’s a ‘wellness’ article in The Times today that has finally convinced me the people won’t live longer it’ll just feel like it. Look how BUSY these 3 are, all before 9am.”
Highlighting 38-year-old Alex Beer’s routine, she added: “My favourite is the dude who thinks we are blessed because Pret sell charcoal.”
By 7.45am, Mr Beer claims he will already have done an intense fitness regime while washing down a mix of coconut water, liquid electrolytes and powered glutamine to replenish minerals.
And he also sits with a quartz crystal to “absorb the magnetic and radioactive waves that are all around you from wifi and your computer” because “goodness knows what they could be doing to my body”.
The model and photographer, who has worked for several top brands and magazines, said at 8.30am – two hours and 35 minutes after he wakes up – he tries to squeeze in a shot of activated charcoal between meetings.
He said: “At some point between meetings I’ll try to have a shot of activated charcoal – they sell it at Pret now. We’re so blessed in Britain.”
Talking about his lifestyle, he added: “I like to mix with like-minded people. I’m not going to hang out with people who like to drink a lot at the pub.”
Annone Butler asked: “What will he do if Brexit interrupts the supply of activated charcoal?”
Mr Beer claims he wakes up every day after “having had, on average, seven hours and forty-one minutes’ sleep”.
Twitter user Paul Hutchings replied: “I hate that feeling when you’ve only had 7 hours 38 minutes – totally ruins the day for me.”
And @SarahTregear shared her own wellness routine in response.
She wrote: “My ‘wellness’ routine means being woken by the hound. Dragging my arse out of bed at 6am for the first of many builders teas. Then a brisk walk with the hound at 6.45am.
“Back to the house for a coffee and shouting at child to get dressed for school so we both leave house on time.”
Joseph Costello tweeted: “Mine would be something like ‘My alarm goes off at 6.30am and I immediately begin praying for the sweet embrace of death for the next 18 hours.”
Model Alex, who is signed to Select Model Management in London, said that at around 8pm every night he turns on his HumanCharger.
According to the company’s website, this is a “bright light therapy device increases mental alertness, reduces jet lag symptoms and gives you energy whenever you need it”.
He said he uses the £175 device to shine light into his ear and give him energy alongside his ‘bulletproof coffee’, that consists of coconut oil and mushroom powder.
BBC journalist, Alistair Coleman replied: “The light comes out the other side.”
J.S Docherty added: “The HumanCharger is £175!!!!!!! For £150 I’ll come to your house and shine my phone torch in your ear for fifteen minutes, while making wave noises to help you mediate.”