AMANDA Holden has taken Christmas to a whole new level by creating her own video diary advent calendar – which has left fans feeling as bemused as they are amused.
Leaving the traditional chocolate advent calendar to the general public, Amanda’s personalised offerings for each day range from festive to the downright random. Here’s a rundown of what the Britain’s Got Talent host has been spamming her fans with on Instagram for the last three weeks…
On the first day of Christmas, Amanda has a sing-song.
She sings: “On the first day of Christmas Amanda said to me, do you fancy a cup of tea? Or a gin?”
While we’d always go for gin, we’re not sure why Amanda is referring to herself in the third person.
Maybe she’s been on that gin she’s recommending…
Amanda’s clearly getting into the Christmas spirit on day two of advent – she’s now referring to herself as Handy Mandy. No, us neither.
Her festive tip is to use an ironing board if you’re running out of work surface space at home.
Which actually could be useful when you’re making that job lot of mince pies. Maybe.
Thanks for that one, Handy Mandy.
Planning for the future is Amanda’s forte, and on day three of advent she’s recommending that we reuse our Christmas wreaths as hats for Ascot.
Please remind us of this come, June, Amanda – we tend to shove our Christmas decorations right at the back of the loft in the first week of January.
Bless Amanda – it’s hard to come up with Christmas ideas every single day.
In her fourth video she’s singing the praises of hair crimpers.
This has nothing to do with Christmas – at all – but at least we’ve got an idea for that 80s fancy dress party coming up in February…
Now this is an idea we can get down with.
Amanda recommends ordering in your Christmas dinner from a catalogue in her fifth video.
High five, lady.
On day six Amanda is recommending that we buy personalised gifts from a well-known personalised gift website.
The part we can’t get past is the Phil Mitchell-esque voice that Manda is doing in the video. We think she’s pretending to be her dog, Rudie, but she’s a dead ringer for Phil.
Amanda, you should be gunning for a part as Phil’s lost sister on EastEnders, seriously.
Amanda’s gone all Charlie Chaplin on us in video seven, which is in silence and sees her doing a jig in front of some sparkly wreaths.
We need a bit more explanation, Amanda – subtitles would do it if you want to go full silent movie style…
Thank goodness, for Amanda’s got her voice back for day eight and she’s singing her little heart out again.
About gin. Again. We think we know what Amanda wants for Christmas…
Nice tree, by the way, Amanda.
Day nine is also dedicated to gin. Amanda, you’re a girl after our own hearts.
In this video, she’s got a toy unicorn drinking out of a bowl of gin, and she’s doing a strange Bond-villain style laugh.
Looking good in that red dress, though, Amanda.
Amanda has now stopped drinking gin – probably best to have the day off – and is promoting a range of bath products for mums.
Sounds nice to us, but we’re kind of missing the gin-sozzled videos…
Amanda is getting stuck into the mince pies and is back on the booze (again) on day 11, just like us normals.
She’s also doing a shot with a random man in an Adidas jumper over a bar. Which sounds like a standard Christmas Eve at the pub us.
Oh, Amanda. She’s playing the piano for us now, but only for a second, before plugging a swanky beauty oil.
Please just stick to the singing, Amanda.
Mandy is doing a pretend fall over a Christmas present on day 13.
Ah, we get it now – it’s because 13 is an unlucky number. Very funny, Amanda, very funny.
We bet David Walliams is quaking in his boots…
Amanda’s stuck the number 14 to her chest for, well, day 14.
And she’s pulling apart a Christmas tree to demonstrate how to spy on your neighbours and their decorations.
She writes: #ThenameisMandy #007”.
We don’t think that Daniel Craig would be very impressed with this offering at all.
Nor for a millisecond do we believe that Amanda’s got a fake Christmas tree in her house (we saw the real one earlier…), but we appreciate the sentiment.
On day 15 Amanda does her bit for charity by wearing a Christmas jumper and raising awareness for Save The Children’s Christmas jumper appeal.
Good on you for this one Amanda – we’re being very sincere here, too.
Amanda is now hiding in a bin. Even the newly-crowned queen of Christmas (sorry, Kris Jenner) is running low on ideas for her advent calendar at this point.
“This is just rubbish,” she declares. Her words, not ours.
Amanda advises us to invest in a hospital screen to hide behind and mask any weight gain over Christmas.
Not sure that’ll come in time for Christmas Day, to be quite honest. We’ll just hide under a blanket on the sofa like we normally do, if that’s OK with you.
Jamie Oliver has made a guest appearance for day 19, which is actually very impressive and has seriously jazzed up this whole Amanda-on-her-own thing.
He advises us on basting your bird on Christmas Day. Handy.
Amanda calls him a “dirty beast”. Her words, not ours.
We thought this was an advent calendar, but day 19 seems to be more of a saucy home video between Amanda and husband Chris Hughes.
She poses in red silk lingerie and looks very lovely indeed.
Not sure what it has to do with Christmas, though…
Amanda is now advising us to take lots of pictures over Christmas – and hams up the joke by stealing a photo of herself off the wall and running off with it.
We see what you did there, Amanda. Very funny.
Rylan Clark-Neal and Peter Andre have turned up for cameos on day 21.
There’s simply nothing more that Amanda can do apart from draft in her celeb pals after 21 videos. We repeat, 21 videos. And there are still more to come, folks.
We salute her for her efforts, but how is she ever going to keep this thing going until day 24 of advent?
Now that Amanda’s run out of famous friends to feature on her videos, she’s got the ultimate cameo – Father Christmas.
And she is putting lip balm on him.
The mind boggles. Amanda, you have done yourself proud here.
Mixing twerk & play?
Louise Redknapp hires Strictly partner Kevin as personal choreographer
A master chef?
Who’s Craig Johnston? All we know about the MasterChef winner
Britney Spears shows the results of healthy lifestyle in a skintight pink dress
HAS STAR GONE TOO FAR?
Is leaner Davina’s six-pack sexy – or is it a cause for concern?
Mel and Steve Owen’s son Hunter returns to Walford 15 years after his mum left
And the good news and final Christmas present for all Amanda fans, is that there’s another two more videos left to come on December 23 and 24.
Plus probably one on Christmas Day, too.
Bet you can’t wait.
Got a story? email [email protected] or call us direct on 02077824220.
We pay for videos too. Click here to upload yours.